Why do we gauge our memories by our kids ages?

ok, today is Christmas. Peace on earth, goodwill towards Man. It is wonderful. i have my family all together and i am content. My MIL was here, and i love her dearly. But needless to say, she has a few quirks in her personality that annoy me. For starters, my beloved is not her favorite son. It is hard for me to understand why, my husband, the one who is nearest to her, who slaves over her house, shows up no matter what, makes sure she has her meds, whatever, is not the favorite. The fact that he is the light of my life, that i am totally devoted to this man, is beside the point. Do not get me wrong, my BIL is a really nice guy. I like him, i am just really sure the sun doesnt rise and set on him. Anyway, while we sit here for the Holy day, we are treated to a blow by blow detailed description of the favorite childs life, his current life, his childhood, and the entire magic of his life. When we discussed her present from us, we somehow managed to bring that to the age of this son. When clowns came in the parade, on TV, she pointed out that those were also that son's fear, (my son fears or hates them) when we talked about schools, we discussed that son's schools, his house etc. I understand that she has these memories, and I think she misses him not being near for the Holy days, and such, and as his life is often a trainwreck, he is on her mind and heart alot, but come on! She was sitting in her other Son's house and all her memories were of the other. Why couldnt she , oh i dunno, mention that son's life, childhood, schools? Is it just me or is that not the tiniest bit RUDE? i also had hurt feelings for my hubby. How must it feel to know that one's own mom has so much devotion to the one who is the most screwed up? its kind of like hearing, "yeah, you got straight A's, way to go, but your brother is troubled and i have to ignore you now." it has to be harsh. I know, as a parent, we are all just doing the best we can and trying to get through the days. and some days we do better than others and some days we hope we don't screw things up too bad. I also know that as a parent, i adhere alot of dates to the ages of my kids or certain milestones of kids, "we moved into that house when K was walking" etc. but why is all her memories attached to only one kid? that seems so unfair and i am outraged on my hubby's behalf. It really pisses me off.

Now the other side to this whole day, my dear sweet sweet hubby got me a whole bag of yarn for Christmas! is he not the most wonderfullest sweetest sweetheart ever?
Also, last night, my entire family sat together in church. It was a hearts boldest dream come true. I was in the church i love so much, with my whole family. I was so happy. I cannot believe how happy that made me. i sat there trying not to actually cry cause it was so overwhelming. But it was wonderful. I would really really love it if he would go with me on a sunday from time to time too. Oh that would be so awesome. But i must not be greedy. I just want to go to church, find my peace with God and pray that one day, James will go and find that joy that i have found. that would be so amazing!!!!

what else, now that i am on a roll. I ate parts of dinner. i didnt get sick. it is good so far. I need to eat somemore yogurt for today. but it was nice to eat a few bits and not get sick. yay for progress.
I was thinking a few minutes ago about hubby. About how, when i was being created by God, he knew, that he had already made the most perfect person for me. He is such the perfect husband for me. he isnt perfect. just perfect for me. I am the luckiest, most happy person in the entire universe. I have this amazing hubby and these two great kids. i am so blessed.